A really tough lesson on this journey of mine has been that I am not in control over this process. What I mean by that is the spirit world has their own agenda.  I am merely the vessel by which to deliver it.  This very hard lesson almost caused me to throw in the towel.  But, thankfully spirit gave me the nudge to push through and I am so glad I did.   This story below is an account of how two roads were presented to me and which one I chose to take.

Remember in my past blog I mentioned the lawn lady?  Well at this point in my journey she became a critical part of my growth.  Why? Because she pushed me to give readings !!  She wouldn’t take no for an answer.  we set up two readings in one day for a friend of hers.  The first one was with a gentleman and later that afternoon was with his cousin.  It’s important to note they were related.  I got to the meeting location we had determined to meet that morning.  I sat out side EXTREMELY NERVOUS!  This was going to be my first attempt giving an actual reading to someone of the general public.  I sat in the car for about 20 minutes trying to prepare and get into the zone.  I was picking up feelings of a lady in spirit that was with me.  Very strongly I might add. So I just knew that this reading was going to be about this very lovely lady.  I went in sat down.  My lawn lady was their with me for support.  The gentleman came in and sat down and I started to try and make my link. I started to describe the lady I had with me. He did not recognize her.  I asked if his mother had crossed over? His reply back to me was no.  Ok, so I did what you are not suppose to do I asked who was he hoping to connect with?  Turns out he wanted to connect with father who had passed when he was younger.  So I try to “summons” dad to talk to me.  I am getting NOTHING on him What  I am seeing is  images in my mind of this lady.  I just cant shake her.  My lawn lady friend mentioned I should ask her to step back to allow his father to come through.  So that is what I did.  Nope!  She wasn’t going anywhere.  When I described her again he said it sounded like it could be an aunt but he really want to hear from his dad.  So I tried and I tried and I tried.  I just wasn’t getting anything!!!  I was DEVESTATED!!!!  I apologized to him and we ended the session.  I went to my car and cried.  Maybe I was not meant to do this.  Maybe I am not a medium.  Maybe this has been all a waste of time.  I am done!!  Now, remember I have another reading scheduled that evening with his cousin.  I was just sick to my stomach at the thought of going through this again.  I spent the remainder of the day on he verge of texting them all to cancel!  The only reason I didn’t is because I felt her (the lady in spirit) energy so intensely all day.  I just felt in my gut I had to do this reading.  I went to lie down and get in the “zone” about 30 minutes before my client got there.  I took a notebook with me and just started writing every thing that came to mind.  When my client and my very supportive lawn lady arrived we sat down.  At this point I just told myself to trust what you got and just GO FOR IT!  So I did! Like word vomit I just poured it all out.  My client sat there a little bewildered.  She had never been to a medium before.  I couldn’t tell if I was getting it all right or if she was looking at me like I was crazy.  Well, I was getting it ALL RIGHT!   I had just had the pleasure of bringing forth her mother who was the aunt of the gentleman I had read earlier.   Mom definitely wanted her message heard!!! As for me….POINT TAKEN SPIRIT WORLD! POINT TAKEN!  Now, I just let spirit take the wheel