The most profound quote I have come across since starting this journey was by the famous Medium, John Holland. ” Your gifts are like a rose unfolding. You cannot force the bloom. When the rose is opened, then and only then, will you see it, feel it, and finaly know it.” As I reflect back from where I started to where I am now, that quote for me is even more powerful for me today. I do not believe that anyone just wakes up one day and can announce they are a Medium. It truly is a journey with a beginning and an end. It’s all the stuff that happens in between that molds you, offers you growth, understanding, knowledge, wisdom, patience, compassion and the true gift….truth. I am a blooming rose. I have to nurture my gift, feed it, take care of it, embrace it, and enjoy the beauty of it. Each pedal is a different lesson being presented to me one at a time. And sometimes if I dont get it the first time, spirit will show me again in another experience.
Spirit gave me an opportunity this weekend to overcome and correct my mistakes that I had made a couple of weeks ago with a little boy who came to me from spirit and I allowed my brain to get in the way and over think it. It was a huge missed opportunity for me to deliver his message. My mistake was thinking the message from him was meant for one student in class and when this student couldn’t take the information i was giving him, I tried to force it. My brain told me it had to be for him. When in actuallity I should let it go and trusted what I was getting and kept going to see if any other student in the room could relate. Turns out this little boys mom was there. I almost allowed that same mistake to happen again to me this week. Almost!
I have noticed that I start picking up information before or on my way to class. This past Saturday was no different. I was watching a little TV before it was time to leave and all of a sudden I just started crying for no apparent reason. I thought to myself that this was going to be an emotional class today. We were running a little late so my daughter asked to drive because she thinks she could get us there faster than her slow driving mama! I graciously agree so I could spend the car ride in a light meditation to prepare for class. In my head a story started developing. I could visualize a hand of a man who seemed to be much older. Then I saw one single jingle bell. Then that turned into a row of bells. I got the feeling these bells hung on a door and that this older gentleman got quit annoyed with them in a humorous kind of way. He then showed me a garden. At that moment I felt the sadness that I had felt earlier. I think he was showing me his wifes grief. I saw a small white cat and then the message came. ” I will be here waiting for you, but take your time. You have a lot of life to live and people still need you.” And that was it… I turned to my daughter who was driving and told her of this amazing story I had just imagined. But then here comes the part when MY brain takes over. Based on past history I am going to TRUST that what I had just imagined was spirit communicating with me. The gentleman was older and the message was for his wife so if this was spirit, I should have an older lady in our class today that is meant to hear it. Right?
We get to class and yes we were ALOT late. Traffic was horrible!!! We walk in and the only people there was our teacher and one other regular student who I know for sure has not lost a husband. Sigh.. Maybe it was my imagination and not spirit afterall. About twenty minutes goes by in class and we are doing some medium exercises when soeone knocks on the door. A brand new student comes in apologizing for being late. Her GPS took her on an adventure. Well, this lady was my age and through conversation I learned was married. Not the person I am looking for. Now I was really confused. It was my turn to get up and try and connect with spirit and give a reading. I was struggling with myself on whether to forget everything I had gotten on the car ride since it didnt apparently fit or just trust and say what I saw. I chose the latter. I stood up and I said I was not 100% sure who this is going to be for. I have an older gentleman who presented himself to me as a husband. I went on to decribe the bells on the door and his annoyance with them because he couldnt sneak in at night. I heard a gasp come from the side of the room and it was the new student. She confirmed, it was her dad. His wife had bells hanging from the door knob and it was a joke in the house. Everytime he would get home late those darn bells would wake her up! I went on to deliver the other information I had received and the great sadness I had felt. His wife was still hurting really bad. I come to find out the death was pretty recent and that she was having a very difficult time. It was a beautiful experience filled with lots of tears. The new student also mentioned that his wife was probably twenty+years his junior.
It wasn’t until days later as I reflected on that experience to find the lesson in it that I realized exactly what spirit was working on with me. Watch out for sterotypes. Give whats being given. Trust the process. Spirit is way smarter than I am. If I am getting a message its because they know that person will be there! I am the student and they are the teacher. Well Mr. John Holand, I think I am starting to bloom.